First, before shit gets heavy lol, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all of the mothers loving unconditionally and doing their absolute best.
Today I was asked to take over @Delcaronyc Instagram and I thought, this is great, of course, because I get to share mindfulness PRACTICE and celebrate Mothers Day. I was inspired and started to think about how domestic violence affects our collective consciousness. And the only real reference points I have, as someone to talk about these things is my own experience with it. Sure, as a counselor I've treated many people who are victims of domestic violence just as I've treated perpetrators of domestic violence. I also experienced domestic violence growing up, both from a parent who was a perpetrator, and a parent who was a victim. Getting the sense that this was a normal thing in life. As an adult, I (many don't know) found myself in a domestic violence relationship with someone who was completely pre-contemplative about his perpetrator status. Ultimately, months into this tumultuous relationship I planned and executed an exit strategy. It was clear that my ex needed help and was not thinking he did. After I left there was nothing but time to reflect on what the hell just happened. I felt confused, alone, victimized, and overall depressed. I wondered if I manifested this experience into my reality. It was a very powerful realization to sit on a sofa confused as fuck wondering what you did to deserve a violent response. The relationship perspective, approach, and understanding moving forward had to be radically outside of what I thought it liked. Many people who find themselves in domestic violence relationships, feel confused, feel alone, feel hurt. Some people blame themselves. Some people feel like they can help their partner to see the abusive patterns. As though this person is just as helpless, (the perpetrator) as they are as the victim to their own behaviors and it just becomes a vicious cycle of hurt. Some people blame themselves. Some people feel like they can help their partner to see the abusive patterns.
The reality that narcissistic behavior is a characteristic of many perpetrators. That the victims are sort of groomed, gaslighted, and overtime the control becomes worse. This can be seen in financial control, jealousy, etc.
So, I wanted today. This weeks topic of mindfulness practice, to be dedicated to people who are victims of domestic violence. To people who are survivors of domestic violence, and to hopefully create a discussion, and a safe space for people to express their own experiences. I believe that when you go through these experiences as a human, we tend to feel that we're alone and nobody understands us. And the reality is that is simply not true. There are many people out there who understand us, but if discussions like this are not available to the public then victims aren't given resources or random insights. In other words, we could be helping others by talking about it. So I empower you to take this discussion and talk about your own experience with domestic violence. Whether or not you've ever witnessed it. What did it feel like? How did you overcome it? How do you view relationships as a result? If you're a survivor, your story has the power to empower others to seek the help that they need to exit these relationships.
I want you to know, as always, you're filled with limitless light, love and potentiality, and that no matter what the circumstances are the power to overcome is deeply rooted within you. I hope that you find your power and take it back.
This post is dedicated to my mother Michelle Ramirez may she rest in peace❤. She was a victim of domestic violence and addiction and sadly lost her life as a lifelong result.
Special thank you to Delise Rivera and Delcaro for sponsoring the mothers day instagram takeover and supporting the LECHEWEARE.COM platform.